


what is love (baby, don't hurt me)

by saunatonttu



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Drama, Family Issues, M/M, Mentions of homophobia, Relationship Issues, sorry not sorry for any of this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-09
Updated: 2015-04-09
Packaged: 2018-03-22 02:00:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3710665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saunatonttu/pseuds/saunatonttu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Never gonna give you up,<br/>Never gonna let you down,<br/>Never gonna run around and desert you,<br/>Never gonna make you cry,<br/>Never gonna say goodbye,<br/>Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you."</p>
            </blockquote>





	what is love (baby, don't hurt me)

If one were to trace down the beginnings of what Tsukishima Kei and Kuroo Tetsurou would later be, they would inevitably find themselves looking at the training camp from where Kei left with the (unasked, unneeded) number of the provocation master of Nekoma in his phone. That was, perhaps, the true start from where all else later stemmed from.

It led to more or less mutual keeping in touch pact, and  _that_  eventually led to Kei finding himself in Kuroo's graduation party and feeling like he shouldn't be there.

Music too loud, people Kei hardly knew (Bokuto was there, though,  _of course Bokuto-san was there_ ) and too much alcohol for a kid still five years below the drinking age.

Fuck,  _Kuroo_  was still underage too – what did that idiot think he was accomplishing with this?

"Oi, Tsukki, how long are you gonna stand there watching?"

Kei rolled his eyes in exasperation at Bokuto and Kuroo, the main instigators of his misery, both holding up cans of what Kei assumed was beer. Disgusting.

"I'm  _not_  drinking," he said – but he took the one Bokuto held up, anyway, if only to try to piss Kuroo off a little bit. The twitch of Kuroo's brow and Bokuto's lit-up eyes were almost worth it.

"What a brat," Kuroo said to Bokuto, with more fondness than he probably intended, and Kei was almost glad for the rush the first sip of alcohol gave him as it enabled him to ignore that certain undertone.

(The one that made him wonder about  _what-ifs_ and  _could-I's_.)

Bokuto grinned and said something that sounded like  _he's your student_ , and it irritated Kei because it was kind of true, but false in the same breath. Teachers and students didn't text each other on daily basis, ask about what the other was going to do upon graduating, ask about anything that wasn't related to volleyball and eventually sliding back into a talk about the sport and Karasuno and Nekoma.

Kuroo's lips curl in a particular way at Bokuto's words, but his next ones go unheard by Kei, even as he tried to make them out by staring at Kuroo's expression and mouth's movements. He thought they might have been something like  _woah you finally stopped fighting me on that,_ and there was something tragically nostalgic flickering in Kuroo's eyes.

Or maybe that was a trick his eyes played on him, Kei mused as he sipped at the bitter beer, pushing away all his previous thoughts and shoving them to the farthest corner of his mind.

There were many people from Nekoma, but also from other schools, a telltale sign of how vast Kuroo's social network truly was. He had noted this upon his arrival, upon Kuroo greeting at him with a tackle and a whisper  _you made it, Tsukki, I'm so glad_.

Kei's fingers clenched.

It was no secret to him that he liked Kuroo more than he really ought to.

That was why Kuroo's graduation stung him like a nasty prick. Like a shitty case of a paper cut, sharp and blood-drawing.

Stupid as it was, Kei had hoped for more chances, one more time on the court with Kuroo. He wasn't sentimental enough to cling to that hope now, though, or wail over it.

It was just a little disappointing.

But disappointments were nothing new, he thought as he tilted the can up and drank the rest of the beer, grimacing at the taste and Bokuto's hooting cheers.

.

.

.

The beginning was the kiss a very tipsy, out-of-his-mind Kuroo Tetsurou gave him in Kuroo's room after most of the party had dissolved, leaving only Bokuto and Akaashi in the guest room and Kuroo and Kei alone in Kuroo's.

Kei hadn't intended it to happen, but Kuroo apparently had, considering the way he had kept glancing at the other's lips on occasion, which was more than enough to put Kei on edge.

 _God, just do it already,_  Kei thought more than once, impatient for the kiss goodbye (because that's what it would be, since they'd never see each other face-to-face after Kuroo was off to university).

He was  _never_  going to drink again if it made his thoughts this loose and flippant.

The pressure from Kuroo's lips pressing against his removed that thought from his mind, though. Mostly because Kei was about ninety percent sure Kuroo would not kiss him sober, and maybe Kuroo's even sillier remarks weren't  _that_  bad.

Ugh.

Kei was just tipsy enough to not really give a crap about what Kuroo would think of him responding to the kiss, so he did just that – pressed in and pulled Kuroo closer by his hair, fingers tugging at the black strands a little too aggressively and shakily.

The kiss tasted pretty nasty, actually, but Kuroo's lips were soft and kind despite the sloppiness behind the movements, and Kei could appreciate that a little. He  _tried_  to, at least. He was more focused on the fact that this was inevitably a goodbye, even though he knew Kuroo would most likely pester him with stupid ass memes and cat emoji even despite not sharing the court with him again.

But Kei knew for sure he'd never vocalize his feelings to Kuroo over  _phone_ , so there was that.

So he kissed Kuroo back, heart thumping and embarrassment crawling in the back of his head.

He thought he heard Kuroo saying "Tsukki" against his lips, followed by something incomprehensible that could have been a confession, but Kei shut it out from his mind and kissed Kuroo harder while Kuroo's hands stayed on his hips, warm and anchoring Kei down to the present.

It was as good of a goodbye as Kei was going to get, and he took it.

.

.

.

It began with Kuroo's toes poking Kei awake the next morning, the nail digging into Kei's cheek, and Kei grunting in annoyance. He'd always been a light sleeper, so that was more than sufficient in rousing the grumpy teen up.

"Tsukki." Kuroo's voice was heavy with sleep, and Kei felt a prick in the back of his skull at the memory of soft, tender lips against his own. "Good morning," Tetsurou sounded like he was smiling, and Kei squinted in attempt to verify this. To no avail, since his glasses still lay on the floor.

"Fuck off," Kei sighed and pushed the foot away from his face. "You're disgusting."

"What, still no compliments?" Kuroo pouted, but pulled the foot away from the other's cheek before crawling to Kei's side and putting his glasses on for Kei. "There you go."

Kei ignored the way Kuroo's fingers seemed to linger on his skin a little longer than necessary, and glanced away with a huff leaving his mouth. Honestly, it was hard to be upset at Kuroo when his hair was messier than usual and his grin sleepily genuine.

 _Stop looking like that_ , Kei thought. As if it wasn't bad enough Kuroo had an attractive personality, he had to have appealing looks too. What an  _ass_.

As though all that wasn't awful enough, Kuroo's expression had to switch again – this time into something more unreadable, almost tentative as he stared at Kei, who tried not to look at Kuroo like he was going to miss him. It was surprisingly difficult, because his thoughts consisted of  _well, you've graduated, Kuroo-san_  and  _what now_.

"I should go," Kei broke the silence awkwardly, willing himself to ignore the prickling sensation inside his head and heart. "I need to get back to Miyagi."

Kuroo let out a kind of a sigh that made Kei bristle.

"What?"

"You don't mean to talk about yesterday, Tsukki?"

_Shit._

"You mean your shameful appearance and getting piss drunk with Bokuto-san despite being underage? Hell no."

Kuroo's eyes narrowed, lips curling into a kind of a pout and nose wrinkling slightly. It was the kind of face that was most ridiculous on anyone else… okay, it was pretty ridiculous on Kuroo's, too. There no way out of that. "Not  _that_ , Tsukki," he huffed, waving a hand in front of his face almost impatiently. "I meant the kiss, you know?"

"What kiss?"

Kei had gotten really good at lying to himself, but he look on Kuroo's face said it didn't work on him as much as it worked on Kei himself.

"I kissed you," Kuroo said slowly, eyes narrow as he inspected Kei's expressions, searching for something Kei hoped wasn't there. Kuroo's widening grin said Kei's wishes had been left unfulfilled. "And  _you_ totally remember that, yeah?"

"No."

"That pretty flush on your cheeks says otherwise," Kuroo smirked, but the curve of his mouth twitching as the softest hint of an insecurity crossed his face. It was gone as quickly as it came, though, so Kei had probably imagined it.

"…so?" Kei closed his eyes, heaving out a breath. "You were drunk. I was too. There's nothing to gain from dwelling on such a stupid thing." Because it  _was_  stupid. Feelings, unnecessary and hopeless ones, were just as much.

He heard the intake of breath. The same one Kei's upperclassmen always took when Kei's prickly attitude towards Kageyama was bothersome for the team. The  _I-can't-believe-this-guy_  sigh.

It was enough to make Kei go even more defensive than he already was. "… _What_?" he grumbled, turning away and trying not to wipe his clammy hands to his boxers.

"I intended to say this after our match in the nationals, but I never got the chance," Kuroo's voice was soft, almost unnervingly so, and surprisingly serious when the topic wasn't about volleyball. "Bokuto says it's 'coz I chickened out, but  _dude_  he was much worse before he confessed to Akaashi. It was kinda sad to listen to his pining."

"Your point is?" Kei's tone was like ice, but his insides were like fire.  _Oh._  Kuroo was doing the thing. Kuroo was actually going to…

Kuroo sighed, sounding amused when Kei still refused to look at him. "At least look at me when I'm trying to get this right, Tsukki," he said quietly,  _pleading_  Kei to open his eyes and turn his head. As if it was important to him. As if he was scared of how Kei would react.

Kei did not want to look at Kuroo's face when he was about to spout something so stupid, but…

"Ugh," he groaned and opened his eyes before swiveling his head to glare at Kuroo weakly. So weakly that it, in fact, was not a glare at all. Shit… it was hard to even try after that, because Kuroo was  _smiling_  and it was different from the smug ones on court and the emoji Kuroo always used.

Kuroo's expression softened.

Kei's heart probably stopped, because for one dangerous moment he couldn't tell if it was still beating or not.

But then it resumed its rapid beats when Kuroo's lips parted again.

"I was probably a little too drunk yesterday, but seriously," he said, fingers loosely entwined between each other, "it doesn't change the way I feel about you. Or about the kiss." Kuroo had the gall to laugh, though it was an awkward, clipped sound like something was gagging him.

Kei tried to keep looking at Kuroo, to his credit. He  _really_  tried.

"I want," Kuroo started, cut himself off and frowned at his hands, breaking the eye contact at the same time as Kei tore his gaze away from the now former Nekoma captain. "I'd like to date you, Tsukki."

 _What an awkward statement,_  Kei thought and couldn't force himself to look up from his knees, fingers twitching at his sides as he tried not to pull his hands up to his face to cover up the flush. "You're starting university soon, stupid."

"Doesn't mean I don't wanna give  _us_  a shot, you know?" Kuroo sounded oddly subdued, and it was so very wrong that it pulled Kei to look at the other once more. Kuroo looked absolutely, positively anxious by now, a slight grimace forming on his lips. Must have been the hangover, Kei realized, suddenly feeling very stupid for thinking that Kuroo could be  _nervous_  because of  _him_.

Kuroo sighed, as though he knew exactly what was on Kei's mind. "Shit, Tsukki, don't look at me like you don't think I'm serious, 'coz I  _am_."

Well, not exactly what was on Kei's mind, but close enough.

"Don't," Kei said sharply, the headache inside his skull growing significantly worse. "I don't—you—" He was getting less articulate by the second, and all he could say in his defense was that the hangover was a bitch and the way Kuroo's eyes crinkled when they looked at him was terrible.

Terrible and completely unfair.

It was equally terrifying to feel flutters in his stomach that he couldn't even pass off as nausea.

"Speechless already, Tsukki?" Kuroo grinned, grinned like the little shit he truly was. "Just show me how you feel," he suggested, throwing it like a challenge, "if you feel anything for me, that is."

The crack in Kuroo's voice was pathetic enough to elicit Kei to do just that - he crawled and rose up to his knees and pulled Kuroo into a kiss, almost just as disgusting as the previous one.

"Don't you  _ever_  shut up," Kei muttered against Kuroo's lips and tried his best to ignore the smile he felt on Kuroo's face.

.

.

.

That was how it began – a rather stupid beginning, and one that Kei would prefer to forget but couldn't because Kuroo kept bringing it up. ( _"Can't believe you reciprocated my feelings! At the party, I just figured that you only live once so keeping it a secret wouldn't do any good…"_ )

The spring break was short and mostly spent in helping Kuroo move into a new apartment and watching Kuroo's parents cry as their "grown-up" (Kei knew better) son lifted boxes into his friend's car. Well, his mother cried. Kuroo's father was able to hold his emotions in, and that made the situation a little less awkward for Kei. Not much, though.

"They don't know we're dating," Kuroo had mentioned to him off-handedly before, and Kei did nothing to reveal that. Kuroo, who seemed like a painfully affectionate personality, held himself back as well.

He had half-expected Kuroo to out them at some point to the adults, but he didn't.

That was good. Kei wasn't exactly ready to come out to his own parents, not to mention Akiteru.

Eventually all the boxes had been dragged out and into Kuroo's ( _Tetsurou_ , Kuroo insisted,  _you can call me Tetsurou now, Tsukki_ ) new apartment he shared with Bokuto (of  _fucking_ course), who had helped carrying Kuroo's stuff like Kuroo had with his.

All in all, it was far too much Bokuto and Kuroo friendship in Kei's vicinity, and he was irritated about sixty percent of the time he spent helping his… date out. Not really a boyfriend.

"Tsukkiiiiii-"

Oh god, they were  _both_  doing it, and Kuroo was only  _marginally_  more handsy about it – not that Kei minded the hands on his waist. Except Bokuto's. Those were unwelcome, and he made a point to sidestep Bokuto when he tried to lunge at Kei.

"No," Kei said flatly, suppressing a shy smile when Kuroo's hand squeezed at his side gently. What he  _couldn't_  smother away was the warmth on his face when Kuroo's lips brushed against the side of his forehead.

"Oh, c'mon, Tsukki," Bokuto whined. "We haven't seen each other since nationals!"

"Correction," Akaashi, who had also helped Kuroo out, interjected quietly, "Tsukishima-kun was at the graduation party and the after-party."

"Oh," Bokuto blinked, and Kei swore he had never seen a human that looked that alike to an owl. "Well, I guess, but Tsukki completely ignored us there, y'know?"

Akaashi was unimpressed, the only one to share that sentiment with Kei. "Naturally," they both said.

" _Rude_ ," Bokuto whimpered, but there was a grin on his lips, and he even laughed with the rest of them.

This time, Bokuto managed to sling an arm over Kei's shoulder, sandwiching him between Kuroo and himself.

Kei was only half-tempted to stomp his foot on Bokuto's.

Akaashi mouthed an apology at him, looking truly apologetic and fed up at the same time.

.

.

.

Kei wasn't supposed to stay with Kuroo that night, but somehow things ended up that way. Bokuto's fault for making the small chat too lengthy. Kuroo's fault for being so smitten with Kei – Kei's own fault for being just as bad, even though they had yet to go on a single date.

But this was enough for now.

This was the most Kei could get with Kuroo readying himself for university.

There was no reason to feel bitter about expressing his feelings too late.

"Sleep with me?" Kuroo asked him quietly, eyelids droopy and hands already tugging Kei by the wrist.

Kei knew what he meant, but the worry in his stomach didn't decrease in the slightest bit. The thought that had been in the back of his mind since Kuroo's party after he had somehow agreed to date the asshole.

(Except that he wasn't an asshole, not really. Kuroo was sweet to Kei, disgustingly so.)

"Don't you have an extra futon or something," Kei grumbled as Kuroo led him to the bedroom after giving a lecherous, playful wink at Bokuto. "I can take the couch, too, I don't—"

"I'm not that big an asshole, Tsukki," Kuroo murmured, a thumb rubbing at the pulse point on Kei's wrist to soothe Kei. "You don't even have to cuddle me or anythin' if you don't wanna."

Kuroo's fingers were warm against Kei's skin, and he tried to memorize the feeling because after this, it would be a while – possibly months – before they could meet again. If Kuroo was serious about the relationship, anyhow, and Kei had his doubts about that.

(But it  _would_  be stupid to start a fling just before university if it were just for sex, wouldn't it? Since neither of them would be able to hook up often enough to satisfy Kuroo. Ugh. That thought was so…)

"Fine," Kei grumbled, the lump in his throat thick as they both stripped down until they were comfortable enough to get to sleep – Kuroo kept nothing but his underwear, and Kei his loose white tee.

"Good," Kuroo ( _Tetsurou_ ) sounded sleepy as he tugged Kei next to him on the bed too small for two. While cuddling wasn't mandatory, it was impossible to evade Kuroo's body. Not that Kei really bothered to try, in the least; the warmth from the muscular body was comforting, anchoring Kei into the moment in a way nothing else did.

Kuroo's chest met Kei's back, bumped against it actually. "You gonna get too hot in your sleep," he murmured the words against Kei's neck, yawning twice throughout the sentence. "You sure you need the shirt, Tsukki?"

"You're that desperate to get me out of it?" Kei muttered, embarrassment tingling on the back of his neck. At least his flushed cheeks were hidden from Kuroo's view.

"Nah, but it's seriously uncomfortable to wake up with a sweaty shirt," Kuroo mumbled, voice fading away at times, and patted at Kei's hip. "I promise. Nothing indecent's comin' your way."

"How reassuring," Kei mumbled sarcastically but he managed to tug the shirt off of himself, Kuroo's hands obediently straying away from Kei, who pretended he wasn't disappointed by that.

"Mmm." Once Kei settled back down, Kuroo wrapped his arms around the other, disregarding the awkwardness of spooning a taller boy. "Night, Tsukki."

 _What happened to_ _ **not**_ _cuddling_ , Kei wondered exasperatedly, but Kuroo's steady breathing and firm grip made him relax after a few tense moments.

"Night, Kuroo-san."

"..ll me Tetsurou…"

.

.

.

Tetsurou emerged from his room with mouth wide open in a yawn and arms hair as messy as always.

"C'mon, dude, put on a shirt," Bokuto whined when he turned to look at Tetsurou from where he was playing Call of Duty with Akaashi. Apparently neither had slept that night. "My  _eyes_."

"Bro, you've gone to a beach with me before," Tetsurou grumbled, running a hand through sweaty black locks. Yeah, shower sounded real good… "'Sides, didn't wanna wake Tsukki up by going through the bags of clothes."

"Tsukki's still sleeping?" Bokuto blinked. "And you didn't stay there to have some gay cuddles with him?  _Duuuuude_."

"He looks cure when he sleeps, okay," Tetsurou groaned, head aching a bit as he shuffled towards the bathroom. " _Too_ cute. And I  _really_  don't wanna wake him up."

"Whatever you say, dude," Bokuto shrugged and turned his attention back to the screen where Akaashi was doing a much better job than him. "You know you won't get a chance like this in a while again, though."

"Mmm," Tetsurou hummed noncommittally. "I'll just do all the sappy stuff when he wakes up to remember all of it."

"Good luck, Kuroo."

"Thanks."

.

.

.

The brief spring break was all they got, and Kei was back to Miyagi and Karasuno with a mind full of Kuroo and the smell of a new apartment.

Well, also volleyball.

Ennoshita had been elected as the new captain, and Sawamura had left the team with a knowing grin directed at Nishinoya and Tanaka. "Have fun, you guys," he had said back in March, and Kei was just sadistic enough to gain a little bit of amusement from the memory of the now third-year students' horror.

This time there were three first years to apply for the volleyball club.

 _Poor suckers,_  Kei texted about it to Kuroo later.  _They don't know what they're in for._

 _now now, be a good senpai to your poor kohai,_ Kuroo had texted him back, adding a cat emoji to the end. It had made Kei roll his eyes, but had he truly expected anything other from the former Nekoma captain?

 _I make no such promises_.

_oh man poor first years. don't make life difficult for your captain tho._

Kei glanced up as he arrived at the gym.

_Ennoshita-san will be alright. He's probably used to it – practice time now, though._

_ok ttyl 3_

_You behave over there too, Kuroo-san_ , Kei typed up, pausing to consider sending a heart emoji in return.  _Yeah, no,_  he thought and hit SEND.

A mild flush on embarrassment on his cheeks, he opened the double doors leading into the gym.

"Tsukishima, you're late!"

"Yeah, yeah…"

.

.

.

The practices were absolutely grueling, but Kei didn't mind it so much anymore now that he was somewhat past the stage where he wanted to throw up in his mouth.

"Poor first years," Yamaguchi whispered to him one time.

"They'll get used to it," Kei had shrugged nonchalantly, "if they want to get better, anyway."

 _you're a mean mean dude,_ Kuroo told him via texts when Kei mentioned that to him.  _but tha'ts a part of your charm 3_

_Says the provocation master himself._

Again, Kei found it difficult to not add in a heart, and his lips twitched in dismay at the urge.

_oooh so now ur calling me a master. im not rly into that but if you like it ;DD_

Kei proceeded to toss the phone into the closest trashcan when he finally got home.

.

.

.

The first weeks of spring went by somehow with school, practice matches and qualifications; mid-April came too fast to Kei's liking, but even despite his own insufficiencies and insecurities, he kind of looked forward to Miyagi's prefectural qualifications.

 _you can do it, babe,_ Tetsurou told him in his messages that he sent throughout the school days. Sometimes Kei would reply, sometimes not – that much hadn't changed in their relationship, and Tetsurou didn't seem to mind it.

It hadn't been too long since spring break, but he did miss that dumb face.

 _lmao are you sure,_ Kei would ask every time, adding a doubtful emoji. Self-confidence was a trick he hadn't learned yet despite Karasuno making it to nationals a few months ago.

_yeah! you're a really good blocker, tsukki. I taught you well._

As much as Kei wanted to deny learning anything from Kuroo's example, he actually couldn't, and he pressed his lips into a thin line in frustration.  _Tetsurou,_  he reminded himself.

 _His name is Tetsurou_.

He found himself smiling as he texted back.

_Your ego hasn't changed in the past weeks at all, has it?_

The rest was Tetsurou and his usual (loving) flirting bickering.

Karasuno had somehow struggled its way through the Miyagi preliminaries, just like Tetsurou had thought they would, though it wasn't as much Kei's doing as it was Kageyama and Hinata's combos and Yamaguchi's serves. (Yamaguchi's  _everything_ , to be honest; he was awkward, but he and Ennoshita unified the team in a way that no one else could.)

Kei was kind of happy.

Kind of.

Not that he would let Tetsurou or the rest of Karasuno find that out just yet. (Maybe Yamaguchi, if he ceased being so annoying about him and Tetsurou.)

.

.

.

Sometimes Tetsurou would call – pretty often, actually – to listen to Kei's voice and breathing without having much to say about himself or his days at university.

"I like your voice, Tsukki," was what Tetsurou would say in all seriousness, and Kei could just about imagine the lazy smile he knew too well tugging at Tetsurou's mouth. "I could listen to you talk about  _anything_  for hours, to be honest."

"Even math?"

"…That's gross, but if you want to rant about square roots and shit, go right ahead, Tsukki."

"Alright then, so-"

"I was  _kidding_ , please don't!" The very audible whine in Tetsurou's voice made Kei smirk triumphantly.  _Ha_ ,  _I_ _ **knew**_ _it._

"Told you so." Kei's lips curled up and he nearly snorted in amusement.

"Oh? Oho ho? Did you just  _giggle_ , Tsukki?"

"Absolutely  _not_."

"You totally did," Tetsurou's laugh was warm and amused, the smile audible even through the phone lines. "Hey, Tsukki? Send me a pic of your smile one of these days, alright? I forgot to take one when you helped me to move."

Kei took his time to consider it, just long enough to make Tetsurou whine at the other end.

"Fine," he said, "just send me one in return." He closed his eyes and willed the embarrassment away. "It's only fair."

"Awww."  _God_ , even Tetsurou's smug voice made Kei's insides feel wobbly and his heart clench in longing. "Don't worry, babe. I'll send you one every day if you want me to."

"That won't be necessary, trust me," Kei mumbled, but something inside him leaped at the thought of seeing Tetsurou in some way every day, even if not for real.

"It's okay," Tetsurou said, "I'll do it anyway. 'Cause I want you to have a new smile from me to greet you every day."

Kei buried his face into his hand, feeling the heat that rushed to his pale cheeks. "You're too much, Tetsurou."

"I like you too, Tsukki."

.

.

.

Tetsurou came over for summer break, and even though they had a lot of volleyball related shit (Kei still called it  _shit_ , and Tetsurou still made a face at the degrading manner Kei spoke of the sport) to talk about, they ended up steering away from sports during Tetsurou's time there.

Kei had the summer training camp to attend to, but it was, luckily so, at Nekoma this year.

"You're coming too?" Kei blinked at Tetsurou (whom he still referred to as  _Kuroo-san_  or  _asshole_  on occasion even after several weeks) and that grin that both exasperated and exhilarated him. Right now, it was more exasperating than exhilarating.

"Yeah," Tetsurou nodded, his shit-eating grin turning into a softer, more nostalgic smile. "I really wanna see how my underclassmen are doing. Can't have them mess up this year, since it'll be the coach's last." Tetsurou's lips thinned into a line as he tilted his head back and stared at the ceiling with a wistful gaze. "'Sides, I promised Kenma to not leave him alone with the rowdy guys."

"Lev?"

"Lev," Tetsurou confirmed, a crooked grin on his face. "And whoa, didn't know you and him were on first name basis already."

"He's very insistent," Kei shrugged. "More oblivious than you, but just as determined."

Tetsurou bit at his lower lip. "Should I have a talk with him about not harassing other school's players?"

"Jealousy doesn't suit you," Kei smirked down at the other boy seated on the floor. Kei had one of his largest dinosaur plushies stuffed to his lap, and he hugged it gingerly while staring at Tetsurou from his bed. He took in the dark, tousled up hair, the tanned skin; most of all, the look on his face and in his eyes.

"I'm not  _jealous_ ," Tetsurou insisted, lips curling in distaste. "It's just that Lev's  _too_  insistent at times, you know? I wanna make sure he knows where the line goes between insistency and harassment."

"I can take care of myself," Kei rolled his eyes, nudging at Tetsurou's knee with his toes. "Tips on blocking would be more helpful."

Tetsurou's hand reached out to rub at Kei's foot, starting from the bottom and working its way up. "Guess so," he chuckled, eyes now burning intensely as he rubbed at Kei's bare skin. "I have some new stuff I could teach you too. Spread the wisdom, and so on."

"You're such a bad alumnus to your old school," Kei snorted, pretending that the spontaneous foot rub didn't make him absolutely weak from the knees upward. "Guess I can't complain much, since I get you all to-  _ah…_ " Kei winced at the breathless whine that he couldn't help letting out when Tetsurou's fingers pressed down on his foot  _so_ well.

Tetsurou's expression turned feral, and he leaned down to press a kiss near Kei's ankle. "Your feet are lovely, Tsukki."

"And  _sweaty_ ; stop that, you're gross," Kei grumbled, face as hot as the outside world with the sun beating down on it relentlessly. "I'm  _not_  kissing you on the mouth now."

"You're not?" Tetsurou looked up, with the kind of glint in his eyes that made Kei's hair stand up on his skin. It was thrilling, sort of, but it made Kei's stomach flip with anxiety as well. "Well, if you don't want that – I'll just kiss you everywhere else."

"Huh-"

Tetsurou crawled closer and pressed kisses to Kei's bare knees – today was a shorts day – and Kei tried his best not to laugh at the tickling sensation. "Tetsurou, stop that—"

"Nah," Tetsurou's lips curled up, and Kei felt the movement on his skin. "You haven't kicked me off yet, Tsukki."

"You're so," Kei couldn't find the correct adjective to describe Tetsurou, so he made a low grunt, "ugh."

"So you have told me," Tetsurou hummed gleefully, eyes flickering to meet Kei's and lips curling into a cat-like smirk. "You're so cute when you're bashful, Tsukki."

"I'll kick you  _now_. I'll knee you straight in the nose."

He never did, though; a few minutes after his remark, Kei had thrown the dinosaur off his lap and lay on bed while trying desperately not to squirm under Tetsurou's adventurous fingers and mouth that spouted utter nonsense against his hip and abdomen.

Kei hoped, he hoped so hard, that out of all the innocent things he had ever had in his life, this one would be the one that wouldn't crumble and slip past his fingers like so many others had.

(Second year high school students weren't supposed to be this gloomy and skeptic and desperate for something lasting.)

(Later on, perhaps that was the problem.)

.

.

.

The training camp week was as memorable as the last one, but rather than the volleyball part of it, Kei later liked to remember the late-night make-outs with Tetsurou behind the corners no one looked at.

He liked to remember Tetsurou's strong grip on his hips, the urgent kisses wasted on Kei and his still lanky (but slowly gaining muscle) body, and the soft whispers Tetsurou murmured against his skin, both in and outside of the gym.

The whispers were flippant promises of future ( _can't wait till you graduate, Tsukki! I'm so going to have fun at your graduation party_ ) and soft confessions ( _yeah, I think this is love, I feel it, Kei_ ) and sometimes just stupid shit that made Kei's face hot either from embarrassment or irritation ( _it turns out Yaku and Lev are a thing, after all, saw them snogging each other_ …  _aw, you're totally blushing, Tsukki. So cute_ ).

But even volleyball-wise, Kei picked up new things and left the camp mildly satisfied with what he had learned and with a certain confidence that  _yes_ , maybe Karasuno  _could_  go far in the spring, even though they hadn't fared too well in the Inter High despite beating teams like Seijou and Shiratorizawa (which was amazing in its own accord, but the lack of Oikawa, Iwaizumi and Ushijima partially explained that).

The ride back to Miyagi with Tetsurou in the bus squeezed next to Kei was as bad as the ride to Tokyo had been when it came to the amount of teasing from Hinata and Yamagichi. Kageyama,  _thank god_ , didn't give a fuck about Kei's presumed love life.

The third years Nishinoya and Tanaka were even worse, though Ennoshita was efficient in keeping them quiet.

Well, except for when Tetsurou leaned in to give Kei a kiss on the cheek,  _completely aware of the consequences of such action_. The whole bus nearly exploded at the public show of affection, and Kei nearly died of the embarrassment whereas Tetsurou just laughed and answered all questions thrown at his way.

"Fuck off," Kei said when Hinata tried to find out if they had had sex yet.

He  _nearly_  punched Tetsurou in the face when he told Hinata that  _nah, that kinda thing can wait till later_  with a smile that was all too fond when speaking about Kei.

It was difficult to believe that Tetsurou was in it just for sex when he said shit like that and when he smiled like Kei was the best thing that had happened to him.

Well, Kei had probably stopped believing that a long time ago, anyway.

.

.

.

Tetsurou didn't come to watch for their qualification matches for the Spring High, and that dulled some of Kei's mood, even if he insisted that he was alright, that Tetsurou's presence would not make a difference either way.

It was okay.

He knew Tetsurou had summer homework to finish, anyway.

Regardless, before one of the matches he took a selfie and sent it to Tetsurou. The pic was pretty bad – the lights were too bright, the picture slightly blurry since Hinata had bumped into Kei when he had taken it – but Kei knew Tetsurou would be overjoyed when he got it.

He'd probably ramble about it to Bokuto, too, until the other's ears would fall off.

Kei smiles in the picture – his own brand of a smile, anyway: it's hardly there in the soft curves of his mouth, but Tetsurou would notice it anyway.

Tetsurou always did.

 _here we go,_  Kei added as a message afterwards, purposely avoiding adding any stupid emoji.

_I love you._

.

.

.

"You're unfair," Tetsurou told him later on the phone, sounding exhausted himself after his own practice match at his university. "I was holding it in until I'd be able to say that to your face, and you just  _text_  me that you love me? You're so  _mean_."

Kei scowled. "You already say stupid shit all the time, so there's no real difference."

"Tch, you're no fun," Tetsurou muttered, sounding sullen, but then he burst into a soft, tired laughter. "It made me happy, though. Happy enough that even though we lost, it didn't matter so much."

"You lost your game?"

"Yeah," Tetsurou sounded more solemn, "but we'll get them back when the tournament comes 'round. Bokuto's still pretty pissed."

"Yeah," Kei grinned slightly, a little less cocky than the one he knew was on Tetsurou's face. "Knowing you and Bokuto-san, they will be obliterated."

"You have so much faith in us," Tetsurou laughed, "oh damn, now I really want to kiss you."

"Shut up, Tetsurou."

"I love you too, babe."

Kei couldn't breathe. "What."

"I love you, Kei," Tetsurou repeated, softer, tone tinted with what Kei recognized as embarrassment. "More than you realize, probably."

Kei took a deep breath in, his lungs stuttering with the effort, but even despite that, he felt like there was not enough air.

Not enough to get the words out.

"Shut up," he said instead, but quietly, like he was done fighting the fact that he was cared for.

Months of sort-of dating did that – it reduced the urge to deny himself the fact that someone truly cared for him in a way beyond the superficial (volleyball).

The insecurities weren't gone, but they were bearable.

.

.

.

Kei's second year of high school went by like that: volleyball, school, texting Tetsurou and sometimes seeing Tetsurou. Not often and not every holiday, because Tetsurou had his own volleyball club to attend to, and while it was unbearable, Kei found himself comforted by the little time they did spend in each other's company.

He got a birthday present from Tetsurou, and Tetsurou got one from him, as expected.

Christmas break they spent at Kei's place: Kei's parents had been overjoyed that Tetsurou had come over, and the older boy had charmed them completely.

Kei wasn't sure whether to be annoyed that Tetsurou got along with them better than Kei himself did or just glad.

Tetsurou had got him a Christmas present, too, but this time Kei hadn't – he wasn't particularly fond of Christmas and his family didn't celebrate it.

"That's ok," Tetsurou had told him, ruffling at Kei's hair, "I just wanted to spoil my precious boyfriend a little."

"Stop saying shit like that."

"Never. 'Sides, we've gone through  _this_  so many times already, Tsukki…"

Kei huffed, looked away from Tetsurou, and glanced down at his newest stuffed dinosaur toy instead.

"Its eyes look creepily like yours," Kei snorted.

"Well, if it keeps you thinking about me…" Tetsurou smiled at him, a warm arm around Kei's waist. Kei rolled his eyes, not entirely in exasperation, before smacking a kiss on Tetsurou's cheek.

"Don't ruin the moment, Tetsu."

.

.

.

They fought sometimes.

They had a big one with the national tournament right around the corner, but that didn't kill any of Kei's motivation for it. Even if it made him irritated.

Ennoshita had already hinted to him in secret that he was probably going to be nominated as the team's next captain, and while Kei had no idea how to feel about that, he knew he didn't want to let Ennoshita's expectations down.

It had been a  _long_  while since he had cared about anyone's expectations, and maybe that was why he had ended up being snarkier than usual to Tetsurou and ending up blowing the fight out of proportions. Tetsurou had got hurt in the process, Kei knew, and that knowledge left a bitter taste in his mouth.

But he couldn't find it in himself to apologize before he got too busy with volleyball.

Maybe it was pride.

Maybe it was his belief Tetsurou would finally dump him, even though he had gotten so much better at trusting the older boy.

Whatever the reason, it didn't change the fact that not finding new photos from Tetsurou each morning made Kei a little upset and cranky, even more than he usually was.

.

.

.

Tetsurou came to see him after Karasuno's loss on the third day of nationals, and he had strawberry shortcake with him.

"You're an idiot," were Kei's first words to him after their huge fight, and he grimaced immediately after. That didn't come out right.

"I know," Tetsurou smiled ruefully at him, shoulders tense as he lifted the box of cake. "Just, you know, I heard about the match. It's too bad."

"We made it all the way to the nationals second year in a row," Kei shrugged. "It's nothing less than a miracle without Sawamura-san and others."

Tetsurou rolled his eyes with his own brand of exasperated fondness that made Kei's chest tight with disarrayed, displaced emotions.  _I'm sorry,_  Kei felt those words burning in his throat.  _I'm so sorry, Tetsu, I'm sorry for being a prick and an asshole and no-good_ —

"I'm sorry, Tsukki," Tetsurou beat him to it, eyes slightly downcast but still meeting Kei's brown ones. "I was a little unreasonable the last time."

Kei's throat felt like sandpaper, and the words got caught and were abrasive in his mouth, but he managed to say them while evading Tetsurou's gaze as much as he could.

"It's not your fault." He swallowed, tentatively. "I was… I  _am_  an asshole," Kei admitted as he stepped aside to let Tetsurou into the house. "But you know that already."

"You can be," Tetsurou admitted with a mirthless laugh that was very unsettling for Kei's already high-strung nerves. "It's usually pretty hot. Sometimes hurts, but I'm a jerk, too, so maybe that's just what I deserve—"

"You're not!" Kei interrupted, hands gingerly taking the box of cake from Tetsurou's slackened hold while he gave Tetsurou a look that said  _don't you disagree with me, asshole_. "Well," Kei relented, "sometimes you are, but  _jesus_  you have much purer intentions than I ever had when I try to rile people up, Tetsu."

At sixteen, he was nowhere near grown-up and not over riling people up and being a generally huge pain in the ass to Hinata and Kageyama, but he could be a little honest with Tetsurou.

A little.

"You don't try to  _hurt_  anyone," Kei added, lips curling in distaste at the raw honesty, hands trembling as he went to set the box down to the coffee table in the living room. "I try. And that's what makes you different, and why it's my fault."

"I'm gonna get plates," he added when he felt his self-depreciation tighten his chest to the point where breathing was hard and not crying even harder. He wasn't  _that_  emotional, he never was,  _fuck what will Tetsu think…_

"Tsukki, wait," Tetsurou's hand grabbed his wrist gently but with enough force to make Kei halt. "Let's talk."

"Nothin' to talk 'bout," Kei slurred, biting his lower lip as the pain in his chest (from the loss in the nationals, from the knowledge that Tetsurou was a fucking better person and thus deserved much  _more_ ) intensified. He was not  _crying_ , god fucking dammit, he was  _not_ …

"Sweetheart, we kinda have to," Tetsurou said laughingly but gently, in the very same tone that he said  _I love you, Kei_  every time they called each other. At the same time, Tetsurou sounded tired, terrifyingly so, and Kei's heart nearly stopped.

Fuck.

He had fucked up.

This was it, wasn't it? That was the kind of tone people used to break up with their significant others in soap operas Akiteru and Kei's mother watched.

"Don't call me that," Kei said instinctively as he halted his steps, feeling a little unsteady on his feet that still ached from the previous days. Tetsurou was staring at him with all the seriousness he could muster glinting in his eyes.

"You're not as shitty as you think you are," Tetsurou said, half a grin tugging at his lips. "I'm not that big a masochist to fall for a complete asshole, Tsukki."

"You sure?" Kei said skeptically, straightening the glasses on his face. "You've never had to deal with me long periods of time – not before we got together, anyway." They were slowly getting closer to their one year anniversary, Kei realized with a start.

"But I've loved the time we've been together, Tsukki," Tetsurou grinned, pinching at Kei's cheek when Kei's head turned towards him. "I still do. Fights and bickering? We'll get through that shit. It doesn't make either of us a shitty person if we get stressed and accidentally take it out on the other."

"It's not accidental most of the time."

"Shh, Tsukki. You're not that bad a person. If you were, Yamaguchi wouldn't stick with you, y'know? Especially now that he's got other friends."

Kei grimaced. "Don't remind me."

"You have, too," Tetsurou smirked at him, "even if you don't admit it."

"God, do you ever  _shut up_ about this shit?"

"Nah," Tetsurou leaned in to nuzzle at Kei's nose with his own. "I love you too much to do that."

"I…" Kei's lips still trembled as he stopped gritting his teeth. "Me too, Tetsu."

"That's good," Tetsurou muttered and kissed him on the mouth. "I'd be lost if you didn't."

.

.

.

It was soon after the spring nationals that Ennoshita passed down the captaincy to Kei, who had been dreading for it ever since Ennoshita had told him he was considering him.

"At least Nishinoya and Tanaka are graduating too," Ennoshita tried to sound encouraging when he patted Kei's shoulder. "You won't have to deal with them," the third year said, sounding exasperated and for a good reason.

"I have Kageyama and Hinata," Kei rolled his eyes. "Even without the 'you need to respect your upperclassmen' duo, it's still troublesome."

"I suppose so," Ennoshita smiled peacefully, but Kei knew for sure he had his regrets from the last match of his high school years. "But at least Hinata's more reliable than he was at the beginning of his first year. Even Kageyama."

Kei thinned his lips. "Why not Kageyama as the captain?"

Ennoshita barely suppressed the snort that threatened to come up. "Do you  _want_  someone as clueless as Kageyama as your captain, Tsukishima?"

"No fucking way."

"I thought so. At least you will have a reliable vice-captain by your side, if you decide to have Yamaguchi take that role."

Kei shrugged, thought about Yamaguchi and their late-night math sessions and the way his friend wasn't a stuttering mess like in middle school.

He smiled, almost.

"Yeah," he agreed, "Yamaguchi will do fine."

"And so will you," Ennoshita said as he looked searchingly into Kei's eyes. "You have the current first years already under control; next year shouldn't be a problem either."

"Nice," Kei said, sarcasm biting in his voice, "more pressure is just what I need."

Ennoshita's expression turned apologetic as they left the gym – they had stayed behind to discuss this. "You will be fine. I'll discuss this with Ukai-san just to make sure we're all on the same page." He locked the gym doors behind them, looking down at the key before looking up at Kei again. "I suppose I should give this to you now; I have no reason to hold onto it anymore."

The key was heavy in his hands, like it was made of gold or something other heavily dense metal. "…I don't know if I can do this," he said quietly.

"It won't be easy," Ennoshita admitted, and a tired look crossed his dark-rimmed eyes. As though he'd been crying. Kei decidedly ignored it. "But you will grow into the position. You are literally the only one responsible enough for it, Tsukishima."

Kei took a deep breath as a vague, unsettling feeling made his skin crawl – it was ominous. "…Thank you, Ennoshita-san," he said hesitantly, bowing his head a little deeper than he usually would. (Still not low enough.) "For everything."

Ennoshita's smile was wistful but grateful. "Take the team to the nationals again, Tsukishima."

"Again with the ridiculous  _pressure_ …"

Ennoshita's laugh would ring through Kei's head numerous times. "You can do it. I hope you'll get great first years when the time comes."

Kei sighed as he tucked the key safely into his pocket. "Me too."

 _Someone, give me strength… I was not meant for this crap,_  he thought, already feeling his negativity rising up and lips curling down.

.

.

.

"Oho?"

"Don't fucking start this crap again."

"Oho ho?"

" _Tetsu_."

Tetsurou snickered from the other end of the line, probably holding his stomach and trying to keep the most of his laughter in.

…No, Tetsurou never bothered to hide his laughter anymore.

Kei scowled. "It's not that funny. I'm in serious trouble here, asshole."

"You've just been elected as Karasuno's volleyball team's captain, and you call it trouble already?" Tetsurou couldn't stop laughing. "You really are something else, Tsukki."

"Stop laughing," Kei muttered, "I'm not cut out to be a  _captain_ , and you know it as well as I do."

"Huh," Tetsurou's laughter died. "No, I  _don't_  know that."

" _Huh_?" Kei made a face and was about to protest, when Tetsurou continued.

"Just, let me talk," the former captain of Nekoma's team murmured, "I know my stuff, okay? And I know you'll be fine as long as another stick doesn't end up in your ass."

"Wow. We are so not having sex next time I come by."

"Hey-!"

"Sucks to be you," Kei said, smirking as he hugged a pillow to his chest.

"Rude," Tetsurou sniffed, "even though we haven't even had sex yet."

"Well, then it shouldn't be anything new."

Tetsurou huffed, but it was out of amusement. "Seriously though, Tsukki. You have the smarts; you're a good strategist; you have the courage. Maybe not the leadership  _yet_ , but hell, out of you third years, I would pick you any time."

"And you really like volleyball these days," Tetsurou added, voice going low and affectionate, "don't you, Tsukki?"

Kei smiled a little as he glanced at the lone volleyball down on the floor. His hard brown eyes softened just the slightest bit, crinkling at the corners. "I do, I guess. I don't dislike it as much as I used to."

"And it's how we met, after all," Tetsurou whispered, and Kei felt a pleasant, fluttering sensation in his chest. "Gods, Tsukki, I'm so glad I got to meet you."

"You're getting emotional again," Kei snickered into his hand, but (not so) secretly he was happy about it too.

More than just a little happy.

"Of course. The anniversary is close, you know?"

"You remember?" The flutters in Kei's stomach were  _too_  much.  _I'm too gay to function, aren't I?_  Kei thought to himself and shook his head. He was so stupid about Tetsurou sometimes, it was a wonder he hadn't died of the longing yet.

"'Course I do! Bokuto does too, if only because I talk about it all the time these days."

"Send him my condolences for having to deal with you," Kei grinned widely this time. "Poor guy."

"Don't feel  _too_  sad for him," Tetsurou huffed. "Akaashi is moving in with us, you know? He gets his precious boyfriend here soon."  _While I have to wait for mine_ were the words that went unsaid, but Kei could hear them loud and clear.

"Should I come there or you here for the spring break?" Kei asked, ignoring the comment for the time being. "I assume you're spending the previous day with Kenma-san, though. His graduation and all."

"Yeah, I am," Tetsurou hummed. "I haven't been spending much time with him lately, and I feel bad about it, to be honest – but I'll spend the anniversary with you, Tsukki, no worries."

"My place or your place?"

"Yours, because Akaashi's starting to move in immediately after his grad ceremony is done."

"Ah, right," Kei hummed, smiling a bit to himself. "Akiteru's visiting for spring break too, so you'll get to see him too." He frowned. "Please don't embarrass me in front of my brother, Tetsu."

"I make no such promises."

"…Fuck off."

.

.

.

Ennoshita, Tanaka and Nishinoya graduated that spring, and somehow it was nostalgic, and a little bit frightening. He had taken up the captaincy already long before that day, but there was something  _final_  about the graduation ceremony.

It felt also like a huge burden.

At least Tetsurou came over the following day, his features as sharp and his hair as awful as always.

They had agreed to not getting each other anything this time around, and Kei succumbed to taking Tetsurou to his favourite places in town.

It was a wonderful spring day, thankfully; cool enough for neither of them choke in their hoodies, but warm enough for their hand-holding to be comfortable.

Tetsurou was oddly quiet, though – he was almost somber throughout it all, and while Kei was alright with silence (Hinata and Kageyama had already given him two bad cases of headache in the past two weeks), from Tetsurou it was unexpected and worrying.

Kei wasn't the best at consoling people.

In fact, he was really bad at it.

"What's up with you?"

Case proved.

Tetsurou flinched at the rude tone, though it was hardly anything new. "Ah, sorry," he gave a half-hearted smile, "been kinda tired lately, you know."

"You didn't drink yourself to stupor again, did you," Kei furrowed his brow at Tetsurou, clutching the other's fingers with his own. "Moron, you knew you were coming here."

"No, that's not it," Tetsurou denied, but he still sounded kind of distant, and his eyes didn't reflect light as brilliantly as they normally did. Kei's stomach flipped nastily, old anxiety crawling up from the depths of his mind.

"You," Kei started, glancing down at the street, "are not trying to come up with a gentle way to break up with me, are you?"

It had been some time since that insecurity had risen to the surface the last time, but the fear hadn't necessarily gone away.

People left. High school love stories hardly lasted. This was Kei's  _first_  relationship. The chances were, realistically speaking, quite low.

What was scarier was that Kei cared so much that the thought of a break-up left him weak and in need for Tetsurou to comfort him.

He hardly ever voiced it, though.

It was just a silly insecurity, just another one on top of the ever-growing list of weaknesses.

Tetsurou seemed startled by Kei's quiet question, if the tightening grip on Kei's hand said anything. "Kei, you know us better than that," Tetsurou said, his voice barely above the sounds of passing cars, "you should know my feelings better than that."

"Then what the hell's up with you?" Kei asked, tense and irritated and holding onto Tetsurou's hand way too hard as though that would help him solve the mystery that was Kuroo Tetsurou's sullen mood.

The breeze that went by them then was cold and chilly, and Kei turned his head slightly to see Tetsurou's lips curling up into a sad little smile.

Kei wished he hadn't looked.

"Just," Tetsurou sighed and squeezed at Kei's hand with his own once more, "family issues, I guess." He looked down at his feet, breathing out a heavy sigh. "It's nothing you can help me with, so I didn't wanna say anything about it."

"You should have said something," Kei made a face. "We could have stayed inside and just watched movies or something to make you feel better instead of taking a tour you're not enjoying."

"But I  _am_  enjoying it, Tsukki," Tetsurou raised his gaze and his smile was ten times brighter, but also ten times more fake, "anywhere with you is good."

.

.

.

 _Anywhere with you is good, my ass,_  Kei thought exactly four months later at the beginning of the summer break as he staggered into his room and tried his very best not to give into the pressure inside his chest.

It felt like something was breaking.

Something other than his relationship with Tetsurou, that was.

Who the hell broke up over a text message?

Who THE HELL did that kind of shit?

Kei had his own morals slightly skewed, but even he knew that no break-up should ever be executed over a text message. It was an unwritten law of a healthy, romantic relationship. Or relationship in general, he supposed, though he had no idea who took the time to break off friendships face-to-face.

Who the hell sent a text message  _tsukki, I kinda don't feel like doing this anymore, let's break this off_  and then never answered his phone when Kei tried to call? Eleven times in a row, for that matter?

One text message – with the question  _why_  – had also been sent, but Tetsurou never replied to that either.

 _I can't do this anymore,_ Tetsurou's message had sort of implied, and if anything, it managed to make Kei feel like shit.

So it had been  _his_  fault, had it?

Kei wanted to say he didn't care; he wanted to say it didn't matter, just like how he had said the same about volleyball on his first year.

But it  _did_  matter – oh, it mattered so much that Kei had no idea what he should do and how to breathe.

Tetsurou mattered as much as volleyball did – more, if Kei was honest about it, because even now volleyball wasn't The Thing he wanted to do for the rest of his life. (Unlike those idiots Kageyama and Hinata, he thought about future – his and Tetsurou's, more recently.)

One year and about four months, huh.

That was how long it had taken for Tetsurou to grow tired of him.

Kei thought about Tetsurou's sullen look on their anniversary, and tried to force down the grimace that was coming to his face.

Tetsurou had been tired of him for a long time.

_Pathetic._

_._

_._

_._

His captaincy took his mind off of Kuroo Tetsurou for most part, effectively shutting out the part of Kei that wanted to do nothing but sulk and figure out why the fuck Tetsurou had left him without any real explanation.

Thankfully he had Inter High to concentrate on, too, since they had made it into the actual final tournament this time – Hinata and Kageyama had been amazing, Yamaguchi's serves absolute  _killers_ , and even Kei had lived up to the infamousness of Karasuno third years by blocking some well-known spikers and aces alike.

Well, and spiking pretty well himself, but that was less important.

(Even though Bokuto kept texting  _I'm so proud of u tsukki!_  much to Kei's annoyance. Akaashi always made the effort to apologize if Bokuto got too overbearing, though.)

But because it was summer break, there was no school to distract him; only the summer homework, and that wasn't too difficult.

All in all, it was understandable that his mind slipped to Tetsurou ever so often, and the gaping wound he refused to tend to reopened full force.

Kei had always had difficulties to fall asleep, but now it seemed impossible, even with quiet music flowing into his ears.

He hated everything a little more intensely, but mostly he hated this pitiable state he had let himself sink in.

It had been barely half a month after the break-up that the Inter High had begun, and for those few days, Kei almost felt like he was alright, like he could do this. Blocking wasn't easy, but it was definitely easier than sitting at home listening to music Tetsurou had once sent to him with the message  _these make me think about us_ accompanied with gross number of hearts.

.

.

.

They didn't win the Inter High.

But they were close.

.

.

.

It was a matter of closing his heart tight enough until he thought he didn't feel a thing – just like how he had been in his first months of his first year.

But this was, in fact, worse than he had ever been.

It didn't take much to set him off and make him snap these days; at least once a week he would yell at one of his teammates out of frustration, though never with the insults he'd have come up with if he were more clear-headed. He'd have been quieter about it if he were his usual self.

But he wasn't, no matter how much he tried to be.

The others noticed, of course; Yamaguchi was the only one who knew the real reason, though, since Kei didn't want to share his weakness with Hinata and Kageyama.

From their sympathetic yet pissed off looks, Kei figured they knew anyway even without him spelling it out for them.

Probably Yamaguchi's doing.

.

.

.

"Do we need to go to Tokyo to kick Kuroo-san's ass?" Hinata's question was surprisingly earnest, and Kei was almost touched by it. Almost. He was emotionally numb to most things these days, outside of volleyball.

It had been barely two weeks since then, so… it was understandable, he tried to tell himself, but the feeling of being utter garbage just didn't lessen.

"What are you talking about?" Kei muttered, wiping his face with a fresh towel. The practice had just ended, one of the most gruesome ones the coach had ordered in a while, and it took its toll on Kei.

The ache in his calves was pleasant compared to the ripping feeling somewhere between his ribs, though. But even that ripping pain wasn't as constant as it was the first few days.

Tears hadn't come out even once.

That was good.

Hinata huffed and cocked his eyebrows at Kei in a manner too sassy for someone so short (guess the growth spurt wasn't going to hit Hinata at all, Kei mused in amusement). "Well, when you're that miserable, it's only right that your friends take revenge for you, yeah? It happens in high school movies a  _lot_."

"Firstly, I'm  _not_  miserable," Kei hissed, lips curling down when he finished wiping his face, fingers looking for his glasses on the bench. "Secondly, what the hell have you been watching?" He pointedly ignored the first and second years, who seemed all too interested in this conversation.

"Some American movies, probably," Kageyama butted in, shrugging his shoulders that now held more muscle than two years ago, Kei noted. How time passed so quickly was beyond him, but then again, Tetsurou had… Kei shook his head. No, not now. "But that's a legit question, though. Do you want us to kick Kuroo's ass?"

"What? No, you language-deficient idiots." Kei made a disgusted face. "Who even cares about that guy?"

"You do," Yamaguchi – that  _traitor_  – said quietly, hand rubbing at Kei's shoulder soothingly and for once Kei actually allowed the small comfort. "Even if Hinata and Kageyama can't tell, I can."

Hinata and Kageyama both smirked.

"Just cut it out already," Kei grimaced, waving at the first years as they chose the  _smart_  thing to do and left the gym. Second years, though? No way were they leaving. A bunch of assholes, they were. "Since when was my personal life any of your business, anyway?"

Belatedly, Kei realized what Hinata had said earlier. "And we aren't friends either, get that idea off your head right now, Hinata."

"Tsukishima-kun, please calm down," Yachi interrupted, a small but timid smile on her face as she entered the third year circle after ushering the second years away. "They're only trying to help, you know."

Ugh; Kei bit on his tongue. No matter how big the urge to lash out was, he refused to lash out at  _Yachi_ , the actual angel in the midst of Karasuno misfits.

"It's completely unnecessary," Kei muttered as he gathered his things. "I'm  _fine._ "

Except he wasn't, not really, and his classmates knew as much.

Whatever.

.

.

.

September 27th came by.

No text message or even a handwritten letter from Tetsurou.

Kei spent half the day staring at his phone and wondering if Tetsurou would pick up this time.

Three calls – three voice messages – but Tetsurou never picked up.

.

.

.

October rolled by slowly after the nationals Karasuno hadn't made into – again, the fall one was the one they failed to get in, but Kei knew the spring one was far more prestigious by association with Koushien.

Spring would be the one.

"Let's make Sawamura-san, Sugawara-san and Azumane-san proud," he told Hinata, Kageyama and Yamaguchi, all of whom were still worried about him and his ever changing moods regarding volleyball.

"N- Y- of course!"

"What the hell were you even trying to  _say…_?" Kei shook his head, lips curling up just the slightest bit at Kageyama's eagerness that hadn't changed at all since their first year of high school.

"Let's do it, guys," Hinata's face was serious, for once, even though the excitement was painfully palpable in the air. "Let's  _win_  the nationals this time."

Kei didn't say anything about how impossible that was though he wanted to; it wasn't captain's duty to dampen the spirits of the team he had been a part of for over two years.

"Let's," Kei simply muttered, calm and composed as always.

Even if Tetsurou wasn't there to watch him, even if Akiteru was too busy with work to come watch Kei, he would do what he could for his team.

And then he'd see where that got them.

.

.

.

The preliminaries went more than just well; Shiratorizawa was a pain to fight again, as was Seijou with Kindaichi and Kunimi as the respected third years, but Karasuno made it through the prelims.

They  _made_ it.

Barely.

"Maybe we'll face off against Nekoma this year," Hinata gushed, and Kei nodded absent-mindedly but stiffly.

Nekoma – would Tetsurou come to watch that match? Would he finally offer an explanation to their break-up and why he hadn't been picking up when Kei called?

 _Ugh, stop doing this to yourself,_ Kei chastised himself.

If they were to end up against Nekoma, that would be fine and dandy, but that had nothing to do with Kuroo Tetsurou and the bent and broken relationship they had had.

.

.

.

"What the  _hell_  are you doing here, Bokuto-san?"

He couldn't even attempt to sound polite at the sight of Tetsurou's second best friend (the first one being Kenma) behind his door.

It was November now – the end of July long gone by now.

If Bokuto was there to comfort him, well, he was several months late with  _that_.

Bokuto looked paler than Kei remembered from the times he had seen him – so many nights spent in Tetsu and Bokuto's apartment – and his eyes were wide open as though seeing Kei for the first time.

"Tsukki?" Bokuto looked a little anxious, lips curling as if not being able to decide whether to attempt a smile or not. "Tsukki, you look like shit."

"Well," Kei's face twitched in animosity he couldn't help, "it's thanks to Tetsurou. If it gives him laughs, you can tell him how wrecked I looked when you get back to Tokyo."

Bokuto's expression looked so confused that it almost threw Kei off.

"Huh? What are you talking about? What did Kuroo do?"

Kei stared at him incredulously.

"Do you think I'd be over my relationship with Tet—Kuroo-san so easily? Fuck, Bokuto-san, he was my—"

"Woah woah," Bokuto interrupted, eyes wider than before, "when the hell did you two break up?" He sounded disbelieving and genuinely disheartened (though Bokuto had seemed oddly disheartened from the moment Kei opened the door) about the implications of Kei's words.

"At the end of July," Kei managed to get the words out of his mouth even despite the familiar weight in his chest. "He broke up with me via text message," he added, hoping he didn't sound as betrayed as he  _still_  felt.

"The hell," Bokuto's gaze fell, "I never heard about that happening."

 _That explains why Bokuto-san kept texting me like nothing had ever happened between Tetsurou and me,_ Kei thought, anger boiling in the pit of his stomach.

"Why are you here, Bokuto-san?" Kei repeated, biting his anger back. It wasn't Bokuto he was angry at, after all.

Bokuto swallowed, and this time Kei noticed the way Bokuto's shoulders quivered as he tried to keep himself together.

"Tsukki," Bokuto said, lifting his gaze to meet Kei's, "Kuroo's gone missing."

.

.

.

Bokuto left later that night after telling Kei everything he knew about Kuroo's behavior for the last few months: withdrawn, sleep-deprived, angry.

 _Just like me,_ Kei thought absently as he rubbed at his eyes that night before trying to sleep. He wouldn't be able to, he knew. Tetsurou had gone missing.

Tetsurou hadn't told Bokuto and Akaashi about the break-up, and had gone out a lot, leaving Bokuto and Akaashi to their own devices.

 _What does all this mean?_ Kei wondered as he felt the first prickles of tears in his eyes. He was so tired, suddenly. The new weight of Tetsurou's disappearance on his shoulders, Kei wasn't sure he could take it.

He hoped—

 _I'm not over him,_  Kei knew that for sure, and maybe there a sliver of him that wished things would go back to how they used to be.

He prayed—

_Please be safe, please don't do anything stupid._

Kei's phone buzzed for the first time in months with that signature ringtone reserved for Tetsurou, who he didn't know whether to hate or love.

"Kei," Kei murmured when he answered his phone, hoping that the caller really was Tetsurou and not some kidnapper hoping for ransom money from Kuroo's boyfriend. Well, ex-boyfriend.

 _"_ _Tsukki,"_  Tetsurou's voice, which Kei hadn't heard in months, was out of breath and strangled, as though he was close to tears.

Kei wished he could muster up the strength to be mad at Tetsurou for the past months of hell and self-depreciation Kei had gone through.

He really, really wished he could yell at Tetsurou for leaving him with a fucking text message.

 _Pathetic,_  Kei thought to himself.

"Where are you?" he said instead, sounding cold and distant even to his own ears. "Bokuto-san's worried sick about you, you know."

" _On train to your place, actually,_ " Tetsurou whispered.  _"I just really… need to talk to you, Tsukki, I'm sorry. It's late, I know."_

Kei hadn't even known there were trains that left for Miyagi this late.

"You could have waited until tomorrow, stupid. Or you could have just, I don't know,  _call me_ or do it over the text messages like when you broke up with me."

Ah, there it was – the anger Kei had been waiting for, the feeling that had taken turns with self-depreciation and sadness over the past weeks.

Tetsurou stayed silent for a few moments.  _"Well,"_ he eventually said, laughing hoarsely and still sounding like he was about to cry,  _"I'm not gonna lie and say I didn't deserve that 'coz I really do."_

"You do," Kei agreed, looked at his watch and bit at his lip. "You want me to come get you from the station?"

 _"_ _You should sleep,"_  Tetsurou said carefully.  _"I can get a motel or something."_

"Shut up and let me pick you up," Kei grunted. Like hell he'd let Tetsurou get off from having to deal with a pissy, emotionally exhausted Tsukishima Kei.

He could almost hear the smile from Tetsurou's voice.

 _"_ _If you insist, Tsukki."_

.

.

.

Tetsurou looked about as bad as Kei had been feeling ever since their break-up, and that was saying something.

"You look like shit," Kei announced his observation out loud when he started to walk Tetsurou back to his place.

"Yeah, I feel like it, too," Tetsurou said, pinching at his nose. Even under the light from the street lamps, the bags under the university student's eyes were horrible and dark. "It's been… it's been hard without you, Tsukki," Tetsurou said quietly, sounding subdued and defeated, very unlike the Kuroo Tetsurou Kei knew and sort of loved.

(But mostly sort of hated right now for making Kei feel bad for him when Kei should really be yelling at him.)

"Sure," Kei just said, sarcasm heavy in his tone, and he kept his gaze from Tetsurou's face.

But there was a question he wanted… needed an answer to, if he ever wanted to get a closure. He wasn't sure he ever could get that, though; first loves were, for better or for worse, those things that stayed with people. So his mother had said, anyway, when Kei had talked to her about Tetsurou when he had first come out to his parents.

"It was," Tetsurou assured softly. There was yearning in his voice, a hurt so deep that Kei almost wanted to take Tetsu's hand and hold it to comfort him. "I… I intended to do it face-to-face, but I was scared. Of your reaction. I couldn't stand the thought of seeing you miserable."

"Instead you took the option that made me miserable without you being there to witness it," Kei said bitterly. "Good going, Tetsu, what a  _brilliant_  play—"

Tetsurou let out half a snort, half a sob. "It was the stupidest thing I have ever done in my life," he admitted, and Kei took a glance at him, only to see Tetsurou's hand agitatedly arranging the black hair on his face. "I didn't want you to see me, though. I was…" Tetsurou paused, took a deep breath and tensed all over again.

"What?"

"You remember how I never took you to see my parents as my… official boyfriend?" Tetsurou asked carefully, avoiding Kei's gaze.

"…Yeah," Kei said slowly, furrowing his brows.

"My dad's a bit of a," Tetsurou made a vague gesture with his hands, "homophobe."

Kei blinked.  _Oh, well, that explains why he seemed so reluctant to take me to see his parents…_

"When we broke up," Tetsurou continued, flinching, "or  _I_  had broken up with  _you_ , I guess… I had come out to my family, and told them about you a little bit."

Kei could sense where this was going. "Your dad didn't like it?" he asked, almost softly, and felt a little bit calmer than before. Still pissed, still heartbroken, but a little more understanding.

"He punched me," Tetsurou said, sounding eerily calm but when he took Kei's hand (and Kei allowed him to), Kei noticed he was trembling. Just a little, but enough to notice. "He broke my nose, actually. Hurt like hell, but not as much as his threat to disown me did."

"He actually-"

"Yeah," Tetsurou laughed mirthlessly, "he quite literally called me worthless to my face that time."

"And you didn't want me to—"

"Didn't want you to know about that, yeah," Tetsurou nodded slowly, his fingers curling against Kei's. "Eventually, I agreed to go to a few dates with the daughter of a family friend, after I'd broken things off with you, but… it didn't sit right with me. It was wrong."

"Okay," Kei said, not having much to say and not knowing what he should say. He was awful at this, even more awful at trying to not be mad at Tetsurou for not telling him the truth in the first place. "You should have told me."

"I know," Tetsurou said.

"I thought I had done something again," Kei added, the honesty making his eyes blur and head hurt.

"—Tsukki, you could  _never_ —"

"I  _thought_  so, because you weren't there to tell me otherwise! Didn't even pick up your damn phone when I called!" Kei snapped and tried to keep himself calm…ish. "I love you so much, and you still couldn't let me in this. Of course I would fucking think that it's my fault!"

Tetsurou's grip on his hand tightened, and Kei thought he heard another strangled sob, but he paid no mind to it.

Tetsurou wasn't supposed to cry.

Kei wasn't either, but he still  _did._

"What about your disappearance, anyway?" Kei sniffled, grimacing at himself. "Bokuto-san came all the way here just earlier today."

"Yeah, about that," Tetsurou sounded like he was smiling bitterly, "my dad died earlier this week."

Kei stopped and turned to look at Tetsurou, his teary brown eyes wide. ":.. _what_?"

Tetsurou had started crying some time ago, and now the tears had reached his chin. Kei had half the urge to wipe them away, but he didn't. "Car accident, I think – he was drunk, probably having drunk himself to stupor after the fight we had…"

"Fight?" Kei asked as gently as he could, his own misery momentarily forgotten. "You had a fight with your dad?"

"I told him I was going to try to get back with you," Tetsurou shrugged, the movement sudden and quivering. "He didn't like the idea."

"Oh," Kei murmured, staring at Tetsurou's tired, worn-out face. "You…"

"I didn't go back to my apartment for a few days, so I guess I worried Bokuto and Akaashi a lot," Tetsurou attempted a smile. "I should apologize to them."

"You should," Kei agreed softly before continuing to tug Tetsurou with him towards the Tsukishima household. "Before that, you need sleep."

"You've always been too kind to me, Kei," Tetsurou said softly, so softly that Kei thought it might have been the wind.

.

.

.

"Do you want to get back together with me?"

Tetsurou didn't look at him in the eyes, which was unusual for him, but taking into consideration how exhausting the past months had been for Tetsurou as well, Kei couldn't blame him for being a little out of it.

Kei rubbed at Tetsurou's hand while he gave the question some consideration. He knew he loved Tetsu, he really did – even if he was awkward as hell and more insecure than ever, he knew he didn't want to give up on Tetsurou.

"Do  _you_?" he asked, narrowing his eyes at Tetsurou even though he couldn't see the other's face clearly.

It was early morning, too early to think about complicated shit, but here they were – Tetsurou and Kei both on Kei's bed, limbs tangled with one another like once upon a time.

Tetsurou's face got close enough for Kei to notice the curve of his mouth and the crinkling of his eyes. "Well, yeah, obviously," Tetsurou murmured, inhaling the air Kei too breathed. "I love you, Tsukki; I love you, and I know there's not much I can probably do to make you believe me, but—"

"Just," Kei sighed, shaking his head, "come to watch the nationals when the time comes."

"Is that a yes or a no?" Tetsurou sounded anxious, his hand sweaty against Kei's.

"It's not a no," Kei said slowly, closing his eyes and taking a sniff at Tetsurou's scent. "Just don't… leave me again, Tetsu," he said quietly, weakly, and he hated every word that came from his lips, but sometimes telling Tetsurou what he needed in words was better than leaving the other guessing.

"Alright," Tetsurou's voice was unbearably gentle, and the smile on his face was far from the shit-eating grin Kei remembered so well. "That I can promise," he murmured before leaning closer. "May I kiss you, Kei?"

"Do you have to ask?" Kei rolled his eyes.

"I kinda do, love."

"…True," Kei said, satisfied when he didn't fluster at the endearment, "…you can. May. Whatever."

"Thank you," Tetsurou breathed against Kei's face before closing the gap and kissing Kei like he had never kissed him before: with yearning and hurt and all the love he had for Tsukishima Kei.

And it was a  _lot_  of love.

But that didn't mean he was forgiven just yet, even though Kei saw his reasons and knew Tetsurou needed support even more than Kei himself right now.

.

.

.

"You look happier," Yamaguchi noted softly a couple of weeks later. "I guess you and Kuroo-san did end up back together, huh?"

"…Yeah," Kei shrugged his shoulders, his mouth still in a grim line as he kept analyzing the papers of attack formations before him. "You already know that, though. I told you."

"I'm just," Yamaguchi leaned over Kei's shoulder to take a peek at the papers, "relieved, I guess? You were so snappy, Tsukki."

"…Sorry," Kei glanced at Yamaguchi from the corner of his eyes. "You've had a lot to deal with, vice captain."

Yamaguchi's blush made Kei smirk; it was a little fun to rile his friend up by acting like a decent person on occasion.

"No, no, Tsukki; you don't need to apologize!" the vice captain flailed. "I just—I'm just happy that you're happy again, Tsukki."

"Thank you," Kei said, smirk softening into a smile. "You're an amazing friend, Tadashi."

"E-eh?!"

"Don't sound so surprised by it," Kei huffed, "I, too, am capable of honesty."

"Kuroo-san has rubbed off on you, hasn't he?"

"Nope."

"If you say so, Tsukki."

"Wipe that smirk off your face, Yamaguchi."

"Noooope."

.

.

.

"Let's have a good game," Lev smiled amicably at Kei, whose hand he was squeezing perhaps with a little too much force.

 _Definitely Tetsu's underclassman,_ Kei thought to himself as he returned the squeeze and smiled (smirked) at Lev in return. "Naturally," he answered, though his smile hid the obvious  _we're going to win_  message.

Kei glanced up towards the audience, knowing that Tetsurou was up there somewhere, and smiled just the tiniest bit.

_This is it._

_This time we'll win._

"Hinata, Kageyama,  _relax_ ," he snapped at his fellow third years. "You've been here before."

_We can do this._

"Chill, Tsukishima! Aren't you the one that's really tensed up?"

"There's nothing to worry about."

Kei's lips twitched.  _It's kind of annoying to have them soothe_ _ **me…**_

.

.

.

"I'm really proud of you," Tetsurou murmured to him between kisses to Kei's lips. "You did so well, Tsukki; you're amazing; it was  _that_  close."

Kei shivered slightly as Tetsurou's hand rubbed at his hip, the pleasant feeling slowly building up into outright pleasure. "Tetsu," he groaned, his own hands clenched around Tetsurou's shirt, half-intent on ripping it off of his boyfriend.

"Couldn't have done better," Tetsurou kept murmuring, moving his lips to Kei's cheeks and down to his neck, sucking at the skin harder when Kei's breath stuttered.

"Stop saying that," Kei grumbled, his face already hot from the affection Tetsurou freely showered him with. Even if they were in Tetsurou's bedroom alone, it didn't mean Bokuto mightn't walk in on them soon. "We still lost."

"It's still true," Tetsurou hummed as his hands rubbed along Kei's waist, the touch adoring and gentle. It was one of the several ways Tetsurou told Kei  _I love you_. "Lev's face when you blocked him? Fucking priceless. Thank god I had such good seats with Bokuto. Wouldn't have missed that for the world."

Tetsurou's lips moved to Kei's chin while Kei tried to decide where he should move his hands from Tetsurou's loose tee. Eventually one of them went into Tetsurou's soft, messy hair and pressed against Tetsurou's scalp, gently nudging until Tetsurou got the hint and kissed Kei on the lips again.

"Seriously, though," Tetsurou whispered between kisses and between undressing Kei, "I'm so in love with you I can barely understand it."

Kei choked up, shuddering when the sweltering heat of his shirt was removed, before leaning up to entwine his fingers behind Tetsurou's neck. "With me or my volleyball, I wonder?" Kei really couldn't help it. He really couldn't.

"With you, of course," Tetsurou hummed as his fingers danced over Kei's ribs, grinning when Kei inhaled sharply. "Oho, I guess Tsukki  _is_  ticklish, after all."

"Am not."

"So are. Remember that one time I did tickle you here? You almost choked on cake."

"You're an ass."

"But you love me," Tetsurou's grin was knowing, and Kei had to sigh.

"Unfortunately for me."

"Hey, nothing unfortunate about that—"

"It is," Kei said quietly, "because it has already hurt me and yet I chose to get back with you. If I was smarter, I wouldn't."

"I don't wanna defend myself by blaming the circumstances," Tetsurou pulled slightly back, an understanding glint in his eyes, "so I won't. If you don't want to - at some point – to continue this…"

"Don't," Kei interrupted, eyes half-shut. "I'm not that big a masochist to stay if I'm suffering or don't find any joy in it."

"You've really grown up," Tetsurou smiled before leaning down to at Kei's collarbone. "By the way, have you picked a new captain yet? You're gonna be busy with university applications soon…"

"Must we talk about high school volleyball in the bedroom? Really?"

Tetsurou sort of giggled before dragging his teeth over Kei's beautiful skin. "Sorry, sorry; I just got curious! You had some really impressive and cute underclassmen, y'know…" His words were muffled against Kei's skin, but Kei heard them, though he was more distracted by the vibrations.

" _Cute_?" Kei scoffed even as Tetsurou's tongue licked at his skin, swirling over his nipples, which sent a new kind of pleasure through Kei.

"Not as cute as you," Tetsurou admitted before sucking at Kei's skin with reverence, eager to worship every inch of Kei's body.

"Oh my god, do you  _ever_  shut up?" Kei groaned, face flushed as he bit back an all too eager moan.

"Only when you tell me to, love."

.

.

.

"Look at all these universities you got into, Tsukki; you're so smart."

"You got similar amount of acceptance letters, Tetsu, don't lie."

"True…. which one do you want to go to?"

"Isn't it obvious? Yours; they have a nice history program there…."

"Are you serious, Kei? I love you!"

"Me too."

**Author's Note:**

> im so glad this is done  
> why didn't I think of this before April's Fools sobs


End file.
